PLEASE donate to the campaign for liberty this thanksgiving. … but only after you donate to the homeless first!  Can’t have

freedom without integrity!


I need a Son

I need a son.

Mother must be educated with street smarts, employed,and ambitious with a level head

Job description: Lay down, Ovulate, go through 9 months of beautiful hell, During these 9 months, a plan must be laid out for our son’s future, giving him every opportunity available, sacrificing our own wants and needs for his every advantage.

In addition to the requirements listed above; Female applicant must not be addicted to any unhealthy substances, from sugar to heron. A good sense of humor with a caring attitude, that puts other people before herself is required, proof of which must be supplied in any creative way you deem fit.

Speaking of creativity… you must be creative and enjoy it.

Applicant must not be judgmental, but is permitted to act in such a manor for various reasons; humor being at the forefront.

Marriage is a must prior to conception, due to Italian Rules. Pre-nub is also a must to show that neither of us is interested in eachother’s assets should later down the road we unfortunately decide to separate. If this happens, the applicant must be mature and capable of acting like an adult during the process.

Applicant must have at least 5 years experience of living with a positive attitude, and must currently be doing so. However; complaining for the sake of humor or intellectual discussion is encouraged.

Experience in educating others is a major plus: Being good at it turns that + into a (X>1^x)

There are 10 types of people in this world. those that can read binary code and those that can’t. Applicant must be able to genuinely find this funny.

Applicant must be within 1 point of me in how I’m generally viewed by the opposite sex. Some women find me a 10, some find me a -10, but my average is a 7, so you must be anywhere between 6-8.

Sex doesn’t have to be often; but when it happens It turns into an Olympic event. You must be able to go for the Gold along with me.

Willingness to use your mouth is a requirement.

Vacations Are taken 1 to 3 times a year as money permits. You must have a skymiles account and a passport. Having a Gold card like me is preferable.

I will pamper you during pregnancy, but you must be capable of buying your own feminine hygiene products.

IQ must be over 120.

Debt is not a deal breaker, as I currently have some; but getting rid of debt must be a priority prior to conception.

If the child is female there are 2 options: if you make over $50k a year we keep it. If not, I’m impartial. Giving up for adoption, abortion, leaving on doorstep, or in dumpster… we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it, but this is where that creativity comes into play! (or humor, you must answer accordingly as part of the application process.

If interested, Please email send your up to date resume to

Include your name; age, salary, IQ, Guy Rating, and everything else requested in this Ad.

Thank you in advance for your consideration.